10th September Berlin Germany
The club stank. Bleach and cigarettes. I felt slimy and greasy and i had only been in the bar for 10 minutes. I went outside and a dog pissed on my shoe. I walked over the road into the park and a huge african man said “hey friend wanna buy some grass”. The soundmans breath had smelt like dead possums balls. I know what this smells like cos when i was a kid on the west coast a man had trapped some and skinned them and showed me the balls. They stank. I also had a driving instructor who had the same smell, rotten lungs..
I’m a rolling stone…
Back stage there was a small oven with a timer and some vegetable bake with sausage balls and smoked kessler. i turned on the timer for 20 minutes and sat in the dark.
11th September Berlin Germany
I cant believe how sensitive i have become to caffiene. i am trying to say the word. i am not sure of the pronunciation, the frustration is rolling off me in big black waves and i can feel the hatred weaving into the interaction. smell the over heating channels. my eyes choking up with waspish contortions. she retreats, she doesnt want to help me any more. doesnt care about this rude unfriendly foreigner, and his unknown wishes. christ I think, I only want a fucking postage stamp to send a postcard to my mother…
all alone and lost
24th September Stasagem Belgium
He hated wives, he hated children and he hated spaghetti. he was 27. i stirred my spaghetti seeing half the bowl was water. kids cried in the other room. over the road the old brown brick houserow curved in the street. soon to be 12 garages. she told us it used to be a house of drug dealers til they started a fire. then it sat there for a year. the grass was neck high and through the window we could see out the back door into fields. the evening light softening the derelict look of the room. dead fireplace with a photograph portrait of someone still sitting on the mantelpiece in a plastic bag.
for a life of sin . .
25th September Kortrijk Belgium
It was time to leave. any fool could see that. the crane reached in and took hold and the whole building shuddered as it tore away. like the whole body spasms when a nerve in the mouth is touched. i stood beside her as she watched. part ruined and part thrilled to see her old home brought down so quickly. bells were ringing as i woke up and a huge plume of smoke rose over the town square. turning the corner we saw the people looking up and the yellow cloud pouring up out of the hotel. nothing to see here folks… we moved on. round the block we had a clear view to the back of the hotel, windows charred leading into gaping rooms of pitch blackened, devilsh wisps escaping through the tiles.
i have paid the cost
26th September Middelburg Holland
We had driven up from Belgium, over moving bridges that swung away from the road to let massive ships through the canals. Now it was night and we drove the N57 up and over the inlets of south west holland. it was about 100 kilometres of bridges. a dyke on one side, the sweep of the lighthouse eye sometimes catching us. the air was fresh from the water, the night was warm, we drove mostly in silence. enjoying the freedom and buoyancy of the extended summer. feels like every town i went through people were saying it is the last day today of summer. one one side of the road a thousand rabbits lined up to watch us pass. blinking in the headlights with their shining pink eyes. then running back from the road into the dark.